Obsedenost z drugimi

 Včasih zelo radi poslušamo o tako imenovanih drugih. Tako nekako pozabimo nase, na naše veselje in naše žalosti. Pozabimo pa tudi, da nam tisti, ki govorijo o drugih, niso ničesar povedali o sebi in so lahko tudi obsedeni z to osebo, predvsem ob dejstvu, da radi poslušamo o drugih.

Zakaj bi govorili o drugih in/ali jih sociološko in psihološko in kako še drugače analizirali je dobro vprašanje. Dobro vprašanje je tudi ali od teh ljudi, ki govore o drugih,  dobimo ustrezne informacije. In seveda je tudi ustrezen dvom v njihovo strokovno usposobljenost za osebno analiziranje drugih in še večji dvom v njihovo osebno kulturo, da svoje ugotovitve tudi razširjajo.  Lahko pa ob poslušanju govoric ali resnica trknemo tudi ob načelo protizakonitega zbiranja informacij in razširjanja govoric.

Načeloma naj bi namreč govorili o drugih, v kolikor se nas njihova dejanja posredno ali neposredno zadevajo, oziroma imajo na nas in naše premoženje neposredno ali posredno delovanje. Drugače naj bi bili podatki o drugih pod Zakonom o varstvu osebnih podatkov.

Že dovolj je težavno ob tem zakonu, da pridobimo podatke o nekom, ki nam povzroča škodo ali ne plačuje škode ali stroškov ali pa celo sramoti in žali  ali navaja krive ali celo škodne ali nepravilne podatke o drugih osebah, ki se nato prenašajo po "halo" efektu. Vsaj načeloma bi morali poznati stari slovenski rek na tem socialnem področju, ki nas opozarja, da si moramo biti z vaško obrekljivko v dobrih odnosih, drugače nas bo s svojim jezikom tudi uničila. Tudi ta rek nas opozarja, da naj ne zanemarimo dejstva, da če se nekdo pretirano ukvarja z našimi podatki in našimi zadevami iz takšnih ali drugačnih razlogov, obstaja tudi možnost zlonamernosti ali izsiljevanja.

Dober test zanimanja za druge, ki lahko meji na obsedenost z neko osebo, je namreč dejstvo ali lahko pridobimo informacije takrat, kadar jih potrebujemo. Takšni primeri so razbito okno, vlom v stanovanje, kraja avtomobila, napad ali kakšno drugo kriminalno dejanje in bi takšne osebe lahko pripomogle pri iskanju storilca. V kolikor ob takšnem dejanju naletimo na tišino in nepoznavanje okoliščin in oseb in v kolikor so imeli drugače veliko podatkov o neki osebi ali pa celo o vas in vašem premoženju, je bolje, da se takšne osebe izognemo.

Večkrat zaidemo v paradoks varstva osebnih podatkov in pridobivanjem informacij o osebah, ki nam tako ali drugače povzročajo težave ali pa celo škodo. Pojavi pa se nam celo paradoks napačnih podatkov, ki smo jih pridobili od drugih in seveda tudi paradoks dokazljivosti napačne informiranosti. Podatke, ki jih pridobimo od drugih, lahko bi rekli tudi po sistemu "rekla, kazala", je tako najbolje obravnavati previdno. Že sama radovednost in/ali nadzor nad drugimi in njihovim premoženjem in/ali zadevami, je lahko jasno opozorilo o vprašljivosti osebnostnih karakteristik. Načeloma velja namreč sociološko pravilo raziskav, ki temeljijo na splošnih in ne osebnih karakteristikah drugih. Podatke o drugih pa pridobivamo in analiziramo, kadar jih potrebujemo.

Osebe, ki rade govore o drugih in jih tudi analizirajo, je dobro testirati na polju strokovnosti in pa seveda resničnosti njihovih navedb ob dejanski potrebi o pridobivanju informacij ob na primer storitvi kaznivega dejanja in iskanju storilcev le-tega. In seveda tudi upoštevati, da nam informacije o drugih niso potrebne in naj bi jih v primeru potrebe po informacijah o drugih, pridobivali iz zanesljivih virov. Pravzaprav je bolje, da se držimo uradnih podatkov, ki jih je možno preveriti. 



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